Journal Entry # 15

1/29/2014

Day 3:  Arrival to the Amazing Meerkat Mission to Mars Camp (hereonto be known as AMMMC)

As I settle into my living quarters I notice the extent to which my Martian Meerkat Mentors have gone to insure the thoroughness of my training.

Obviously my first training session will be on wilderness survival.  

 I will be a natural at that!

***Unpacks Bags*** 

***pulls out flat screen TV and satellite dish***

***pulls out i-pad***

***pulls out frappacino machine***

***pulls out Lazy Boy Recliner***

***Hops into recliner, turns on TV and I-pad reaches over to fill mug w/ grub frappacino**

Yep!  I am a survival expert!!

ABORT MISSION!!!

***ABORT***ABORT***ABORT***

RELEASE THE GRAPES!

 RELEASE THE OOPMA LOOMPA'S AND THE CHOCO-GRUB RECIPE!

UNTIE THE PALACE GUARDS!

I have something better planned.

Seems someone sent me this news paper clipping:

"Human Settlement on Mars Mars One

 will establish a permanent human settlement on Mars. 

Crews of four will depart every two years, starting in 2024. 

Our first unmanned mission will be launched in 2018."

(this is legit--click here)

2018??!!

That's only 6 years away!

Luckily whoever sent me that news paper clipping

also sent me a suitcase!!

I must pack!

Clearly these humans recognize their need of my great 

skills in survival and leadership!!

Ahhhh......relaxing in the sun....

on those Red Martian Beaches...

Under the Martian Palm Trees...

Sipping Martian Smoothies...

And the Best part of being on Mars.....

All those Martian Grubs will be mine!!

Final and Most Daring Mission

You have secured entertainment and delightful goodies, but now I need you to secure a supreme location so that you may enthrall me at the upcoming festivities for the Annual Celebration of the Day the World was Blessed with the Presence of ME

I have pre-scouted a few locations worthy of my regal greatness.   I will need you to annihilate their guard, eliminate any current squatters and secure the premises so that you may adequately prepare.

Now, which location would you like to secure, my lovelies?

Mission # 2

Very good, Minions!

You have secured the entertainment for the 

Annual Celebration of the Day

that the World was Blessed with  ME!

Now to move onto the Menu!

**pulls out large map and spreads on table in front of minions**

I need reconnaissance on this Factory!

Seems they have perfected the recipe for Flavored Grubs!

I will need the bravest among you to infiltrate this Factory

and steal the secret formula for this recipe!

But watch out for the Oompa Loompas!

Terrible, evil little creatures who, if given the opportunity,

will torture their prisoners in the most hideous of ways!

***shudders and whispers***

I can't even look!

**covers eyes, throws map at minions and yells**

GO NOW MINIONS!

GO GET THAT SECRET FORMULA!!

Attention Minions!!

This is your first mission of the New Year!

You are to locate and obtain the services of these Super Stars!

I wish to have them perform at the upcoming festivities

of the annual celebration of the day the world

was blessed with the presence of 

ME!

Meerkat Swag Take Two

Well, it seems my dear unsophisticated minions 

are just not ready for the fashion elite likes of Sir Elton John.

So I will have to tone things down a bit, 

so you will feel more comfortable in my presence.

Brace Yourself  for the New 

Understated

Me!

Meerkat Swag

It seems many of you minions are intimidated 

by my high fashion good looks.

I cannot find fault with you as you are simply uninformed

***looks at Nutello***

and sorely unsophisticated.

So!

Let me enlighten my minions 

By Introducing you to

Sir

Elton

John!!!

Breath Taking, Isn't He?

That is his elegant look.

Here he is rockin the casual look

And Here is His Serious Look

And Here He is in All His Pride and Glory!

Like a Beautiful Peacock!

He looks 

AMAZING!!!

MUST

GET

FEATHERS!!!!

What do ya think?

A New Year.....A New Me!!

Now Let's  Roll