"Where's he going?"
***Minions watch Tiggerpaka disappear in a cloud of dust***
****
**Door Slams shut, a panting Tiggerpaka leans against it**
"Well hello there, friend!"
**Brushes self off and acts calm and cool**
Friend?
Name and Rank, Minion!!
"Oh, uh, I'm Doctor Hopper"
Doctor?
"Well, psychiatrist actually"
A head shrinker??!!
What do you want with me?
I'm not crazy!
"Uh, um, well, sir, you, ah, came to me"
**Hops up on Leather couch and lays back**
Well, go ahead, shrink me!
I suppose you want me to tell you all about my mother
"Well, let's just start with your name and where you are from"
"I don't recall seeing you in the Enchanted Forest"
Enchanted Forest??
Pffffttttt!!
I am Tiggerpaka the Great
Lord and Master of the Universe!
"Ah, I see"
**Dr,. Hopper takes out pen and note pad and starts writing furiously**
Oh you see do you!
Well of course you do!
My awesomeness is obvious to all!
**Mutters to self**
(except those stupid people in that diner)
"And what brings your Greatness to Storybrooke?"
I am here to reclaim my hostage from the Evil Queen!
"Hostage? Evil Queen?"
"What has Regina done now?"
"Do I need to call the police?"
No police!
My minions and I can handle this!
"Your Minions? Uh---are they hear with you now? In this room?"
**Looks left and right, behind couch and under it**
What are you crazy? Umbrello alone couldn't fit in here!
"Umbrella? An umbrella is your minion? Interesting."
**makes more notes**
I have several minions!
Scores of them if you count the ones on Mars!
"Mars?"
Yes, Mars! Are you deaf?
I am the first Meerkat on Mars
And I was accepted by the martians as their Emperor!
Begged, actually......
"This is all very interesting! Very, very interesting!"
"Please, tell me about this hostage you are looking for?"
Well we first came to town looking for a lamp with a Dinge.
But Mr. Gold sold me a broken one!
So we decided to steal the Evil Queen's mirror
But instead got Hostage!
We took Hostage back to HQ
and he was nice enough to offer to deliver the ransom note
for us to the Evil Queen because that's his mother.
"Henry? You mean Henry is your hostage?!"
Well I don't know that human's name, but sure, let's call him Henry.
Now, my minions and I have come for Henry
Huntress is chained up at the moment---because she goes a bit nuts with her Bazookas
And Draco has his Dragon Army
And Playdo---uh, he, uh---well let's just say he's crazy
And has a thing for ribs----human ribs!
**Dr. Hopper starts sweating nervously and reaches for the phone**
"ah, uh, I see, sounds like a, uh, nice group of minions, yes"
**Laughs nervously then whispers into the phone**
(Sheriff? I need you here asap---I think Henry's in danger)
So who ya calling?
Hey! While your'e on the phone why don't' you call for some grub pizza?
I'm starving!!
That food at Granny's is overrated, service is terrible too
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The Back Story for Tiggerpaka and Jiminy Cricket
Disguised as a traveling Magician, Tiggerpaka of the Enchanted Forest
Dupes a cricket into being his stage partner
In the Disappearing Cricket Act
